99 things we desi people do!

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  1. You unwrap gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping and especially those bows.
  2. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
  3. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
  4. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
  5. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
  6. You have never used your dishwasher.
  7. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
  8. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
  9. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
  10. You always leave your shoes at the door.
  11. You hate to waste food.
  12. only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
  13. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
  14. You never order room service.
  15. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
  16. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
  17. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
  18. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
  19. You majored in engineering, medicine or law.
  20. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
  21. You don’t use measuring cups.
  22. Your house is always cold.
  23. You reuse teabags.
  24. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don’t write anymore.
  25. You have acquired a taste for bitter gourd.
  26. You like your meat well done.
  27. When your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s midnight.
  28. You never go to the movies.
  29. Your day starts and ends with a curry and for lunch you again eat curry.
  30. Your use a clothes line.
  31. You never discuss your love life with your parents.
  32. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
  33. You keep used batteries.
  34. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
  35. You call an older person you never met before “uncle.”
  36. The first thing uncles ask you is “where are your parents from?”
  37. No one you’re related to is a music major.
  38. You avoid motels, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 mile radius of your destination.
  39. You sleep on their floor.
  40. When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert.
  41. You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
  42. You cook in bulk.
  43. You have bedsheets on your sofas.
  44. You recycle gifts.
  45. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
  46. You list your daughter as “fair and slim” in the matrimonial no matter what she looks like.
  47. You use Vicks Vaporub.
  48. The video tapes you rent are 10th generation copies and have scrolling commercials in the middle of the movie.
  49. You know the words of the “Vicco Turmeric” commercial.
  50. You’ve been in a bus where half the people riding are outside the bus.
  51. All your Tupperware is stained with food color.
  52. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you’re not careful.
  53. Experiencing 20 power blackouts in a single day doesn’t faze you.
  54. runner going down your hallway at home.
  55. There’s a odor of spices as one enters your home.
  56. You’ve never had a tanning salon membership.
  57. You’ve tied up your luggage with rope to keep it from falling apart.
  58. If you’re married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
  59. Even if you’re totally full, if someone says they’re going to throw away  the leftovers on the table, you’ll finish them.
  60. Whenever you are invited at a friend’s house you always try to take a quick tour of their whole house.
  61. You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it’s normal.
  62. You are standing next to the two largest suitcases at the Airport.
  63. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.
  64. Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
  65. You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
  66. Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
  67. Everyone is a family friend.
  68. You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
  69. You go back to your parents’ country and people treat you like a member of…the royal family.
  70. Your drink 6 cups of tea a day.
  71. You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
  72. You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
  73. People obsessed with their children becoming doctors.
  74. People living in the old times, thinking boys should get more freedom then girls.
  75. Always on the lookout for a bargain.
  76. You have greasy hair.
  77. Your belly is sticking out.
  78. You eat chapatti.
  79. You Watch Bollywood movies all night.
  80. You have really long hair that is braided in the back.
  81. The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
  82. You keep comparing prices at electronics store for the phone you bought six months ago.
  83. Office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.
  84. You don’t want to buy a printer because you can always use the officeprinter.
  85. You decide to marry a girl/guy that your parents fixed you up with.
  86. The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
  87. You put oil in your hair.
  88. You pay your bills the day they come in mail.
  89. You start spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy, T as in train… well you get the idea.
  90. You will have a big screen tv in your living room, because we desis love watching television.
  91. We love status, so we keep track of our social status.
  92. When we have to stay at the hospital, the whole family stays at the hospital with you.
  93. And they bring the food with them, so your whole rooms smells like curry.
  94. We love to wear sneakers.
  95. We love to gossip.
  96. We love desi food.
  97. We do not bother to call off.
  98. We keep on putting food on your plate whenever you eat at our place.
  99. We open the mail off our familymembers and read it, then give the mail to that person.

If you know typicall desi behaviour, please feel free to post a comment.

Let me know wich behaviour you liked the most through a comment.

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11 thoughts on “99 things we desi people do!

  1. If I ever end up making a video on my parents I am definitely going to use these, Everything from A to Zed, Everything, Correct! Especially that dads meeting part. I had to hang out with ‘Uncles’ and let’s just say I learnt Poilitics. Thanks Dad!

    P.S. Don’t worry I will give credit if I do make a video. 😉

  2. I Used to keep bows from gifts since like forever lol. My Desi Man (I’m gori) used to prefer foil on the stove – only reason we don’t is this stove is well clean but annoying – too hard to explain. I clean too frequently for grease to visit for long.
    Can’t comment on all and wish I could. … But its funny because about 50% applies to what I’m like prior to any desi influence lol. House is always cold – lol – that is more me than my Desi Man – he fights with me about it Coz he rather be feeling more hot all the time lol!!!

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